Thursday, February 28, 2013

This is about as much as I can really force myself to say about fiber.

Hello, world.

I was told to write about Fiber One today. So, for inspiration, I went to the kitchen and got myself a Fiber One chocolate chip cookie brownie. It's amazing how the act of eating one small cookie brownie can spark a creative flow of thinking. Sometimes you really just have to experience what you're about to write about. 

So anyway, one thing I've learned is that Fiber One takes things that are delicious and makes them not delicious anymore. But hey, what the hell was I expecting? A cookie just simply cannot be both delicious and 90 calories. The two are mutually exclusive events and, therefore, cannot occur at the same time. You can't be happy and sad at the same time. Unless of course, you're on your period. But that's beside the point.  As far as food goes, low calorie food is not delicious. 

Which brings up the question, "then why the hell did you just eat it?" 

Uh, because my awesome friend, Laura asked me to write something meaningful on Fiber One, and I wanted to experience it firsthand so that I could write something a little more than, "fiber makes you poop."

So what is the purpose of Fiber One anyway? It's because as Americans, it's much easier for us to eat slightly less unhealthy food that is disguised as delicious healthy food as means of getting nutrients. Fiber One is there so that we don't have to force ourselves to eat actually delicious healthy food, like fruit. Fiber One is there so that instead of having to go through all of the freaking effort to wash tupperware that had cantaloupe in it, we can just throw away a wrapper. The more I write, actually, the more I'm developing kind of a personal vendetta against Fiber One. That and the fact that I just read the wrapper that says "11JAN2013" on it, so I'm totally going to die. That is a terribly pathetic way to go, actually. "Here lies Emily. She died because she was too lazy to go get an apple." Honestly though, after reading through these ingredients, I can't really see anything that hasn't been sitting on my kitchen counter for years, so I think I'll be alright. I mean, does "bleached wheat flour" ever actually go bad? My guess is no. 

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