Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I did it for the learning experience

Today I learned a very important lesson: whatever city you find yourself in, make sure to avoid route 40.

I learned this lesson today as I was riding along to my moms doctor's appointment in Baltimore... You can guess how well that went.

The appointment was in White Marsh, which is where I'm safely sitting now reflecting on this whole ordeal.

Things I've learned:
1) If your mom tells you her appointment is in White Marsh, and then hands you a paper with a Baltimore address on it, double and triple check it and basically just keep asking about it until she comes to the realisation that it's the wrong freaking address.

2) If you get to the Baltimore beltway, and you know that you're going to White Marsh, the answer is always 695 N. And if your GPS tells you to take 695 S instead, it's probably a good indication that it is taking you to that wrong address that you typed in.

3) GPS units have no soul. They have no concern for your well being and are only concerned with getting you where you need to go in the quickest way possible, even if it means taking you through the ghetto. They really do not have an "avoid ghetto" option.

4) If a GPS unit tells you to go on Rt. 40 to go through a city, it's wrong. Every city has a ghetto, and every ghetto seems to have a Rt. 40 going right through it.

5) If your mom is driving through the ghetto of Baltimore, there's really no "looking on the bright side." If you're trying to "laugh it off," you're only going to worry her and she's never going to let you leave the house again. She probably doesn't want to hear about "what a fun adventure this is."

6) If you're driving past bars that are open at 10 o clock in the f***ing morning, it's a good indication that you've reached the ghetto. It's best to turn around at this point and find some other route to take before you're to the point where you're actually considering religion.

Ultimately, now that I'm safe and I've survived, I can look back and say that it was quite an experience. I'll definitely never get that kind of mother-daughter bonding time again. But that probably has to do with the fact that she's never taking me on a road trip again... XD

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