Wednesday, April 3, 2013

It is my firm belief that backpacks should never have wheels.

I have a couple of things to say. Also, at this point in time, sitting here in the geography lab writing this, I am having a crazy amount of deja vu.

1. I think that deja vu is a cool concept. Except I don't think that I've been here in a past life, I just feel like I dreamed about doing this exact thing. Which I probably have. Which is weird.

2. Anyway, lately, I've been thinking about the whole, "what the hell am I going to do with my future thing," and I've been seriously thinking about maybe getting a second degree after I graduate. Something in science. I'll tell you why. I am a scientific person. When I was six, and other kids my age were still sucking on their thumbs and wetting the bed (okay, I did once, I'll admit, but I never needed those weird child diapers), I was reading books on the solar system and watching Magic School Bus and Bill Nye the Science Guy. And also Rugrats and Spongebob, because let's face it, without them, I would have turned out to be the weirdest person on the planet. Like "I'm in college and I still use backpacks with wheels" weird.

So I've decided that my life aspiration is to be Ms. Frizzle when I grow up. I've set up a timeline to achieve this goal.

1. Get a degree in science. Like, every science imaginable. Sleep with headphones in playing Bill Nye episodes, that cool show Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman, and anything Neil deGrasse Tyson has ever said in an effort to infuse my head with knowledge of all that is scientific.

2. Graduate, acquire plenty of random dresses with matching shoes that have things on them like food, space, the rainforest. There has to be a store somewhere in the world that sells science themed attire.

3. Acquire a magic bus, capable of displaying emotions and turning into anything I desire. *

*I just now, after years of living on this planet, appreciate the irony that this show seems to think magic is the only way to explain science to children. Am I complaining? No.

4. Go on a joyride through an inner city neighbourhood, picking up a number of children representing a diverse array of ethnicities and other minority groups. Preferably orphans/foster children, since I'm going to be taking these kids out into space, and into lightbulbs, and human bodies, and electrical sockets.

5. Get a pet lizard. I forgot that part.

There we go. I'm all set for life. Sounds much more fun than being a doctor.
Face it. She looks like she's having way more fun than the rest of us.

3. Backpacks should never have wheels. Actually, when I get down about myself, I always come to this conclusion:
At least I do not use a backpack with wheels.
 People who use rolly backpacks seem to have a personality of their own. A kind of personality that says "I let my fingernails grow really long," and "I always run whenever I have to go anywhere," and "I talk to myself when I am running to class." It can describe a person who was in those weird child diapers until they were 12. Someone who always seems to have peanut butter on their face. Have you ever looked at a person and thought to yourself that they probably have plastic wrap on their couch at home? I'll bet you that their backpacks probably have wheels.

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